Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
