best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
