so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
