Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
