Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
