you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
