No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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