I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
