What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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