When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She bit a glass in half.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
