I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize