i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
