He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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