He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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