You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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