When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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