Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
send nudes
from the living room?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize