I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
