and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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