I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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