They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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