Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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