ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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