Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
