i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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