so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
