Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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