i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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