im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
