'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We need a shit load of segways right now
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
