Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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