if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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