I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
