One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
