I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
