His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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