I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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