i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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