DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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