That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
