I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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