we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
