I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
