she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
