Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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