it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Nicole vs. Life
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
