I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
