I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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