This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
