It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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