I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
