I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
