Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
