Did you just see the Batmobile???
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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