I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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